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Displaying Posts in Category "Repetition"

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WEDNESDAY, JUNE 2, 2010

Natural Horsemanship as it Relates to Parenting

I was thinking the other day how natural horsemanship really does apply to all areas of my life. It affects how I relate to people and especially how I am with my son.

Because I only have one child, I really don’t know if my observations that relate the way Ben responds to my methods are really accurate – I haven’t exactly had a lot of different case studies! But the way I approach parenting (and urge my husband to do the same) is with consistency, a whole lot of love, a sense of fun and a sense of justice.

Ben is nearly two-years-old and a really interesting little person. The other day, he took a round cork trivet and a pair of oven mitts out of a kitchen drawer, put the mitts on and carried the trivet around, proudly showing me his ‘pizza’. I never cease to be amazed at the things he comes up with all on his own.

And wow, if you want to know how emotionally fit you are, just try being the primary caregiver of a young child in pain. Some children are easy teethers – Ben is not! Before he was five months old, his first teeth came in. Since then, we’ve had months and months and months of teething. For both for Ben and for those around him, the sleepless nights and misery can last for ages – for example, he’s been working on his two year molars since December and it is now June and they’re still not in! I was happy that I came into this with more emotional fitness and more awareness of my emotional state and how to change it than I used to have. It has also clearly shown me some areas that need improvement!

Aside from the whole teething thing, Ben is a really happy kid. He has and understands his boundaries; he has determination but knows that if he is really struggling, we will help him out; he trusts us implicitly and feels safe with us. He knows that he won’t be told that he can do something today and then be reprimanded for doing it tomorrow. He understands when he makes a mistake that we still love him, and he has shown us the value of repeating things over and over (and over and over) again with patience and understanding.

I’m not a perfect parent, but natural horsemanship has sure helped me be better than I otherwise would have. And really, I think that parenting has helped me to be better with my horses.

POSTED BY CELENA AT 6:09 PM      4 COMMENTS     POST A COMMENT
CATEGORIES: EMOTIONAL FITNESS, HORSEPEOPLE - A BREED OF OUR OWN, LAYING THE FOUNDATION, MY FAMILY, REPETITION

THURSDAY, APRIL 22, 2010

Repetition, Reward & Recovering Perfectionists

I am a recovering perfectionist. I used to be so afraid of doing something wrong – or worse, something “bad” – that I didn’t want to try new things. I wanted to sit in my little comfort zone and do things the way I had always done them. I didn’t even want to cook because what if – gasp – it didn’t turn out!

I am slowly recovering. It is a long journey, full of discomfort and mistakes. I have to keep reminding myself that mistakes are good – you really can’t progress without them. Figure out what doesn’t work and change how you’re playing the game.

One of the things I’m recognizing now as I try out new techniques and give myself permission to be wrong or awkward or a downright mess, is that I’m starting to see the small changes in my horses. It gives me more incentive to keeping trying because I can see those little tries and improvements.

Horses (and we) learn by repetition, and it’s hard to keep repeating something that feels all wrong if you don’t think you’re really getting anywhere. But becoming more aware of those positive changes in my horses keeps me at it.

I feel and reward the little improvements, which does two great things – it makes me want to repeat the lesson the next day, and best of all, it lets my horses know that their little tries are being recognized and appreciated. When I feel that small change and reward them for it in a way that they understand, they start trying even harder and they learn so fast!

When you keep each exercise short (repetition is the key, but it can easily be overdone!) and just keep looking for the little tries, it is incredible how quickly horses come along.

POSTED BY CELENA AT 7:46 PM      0 COMMENTS     POST A COMMENT
CATEGORIES: APPLYING NH, EMOTIONAL FITNESS, NATURAL HORSEMANSHIP TECHNIQUES, REPETITION, SOAKING