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2009

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WEDNESDAY, JUNE 2, 2010

Natural Horsemanship as it Relates to Parenting

I was thinking the other day how natural horsemanship really does apply to all areas of my life. It affects how I relate to people and especially how I am with my son.

Because I only have one child, I really don’t know if my observations that relate the way Ben responds to my methods are really accurate – I haven’t exactly had a lot of different case studies! But the way I approach parenting (and urge my husband to do the same) is with consistency, a whole lot of love, a sense of fun and a sense of justice.

Ben is nearly two-years-old and a really interesting little person. The other day, he took a round cork trivet and a pair of oven mitts out of a kitchen drawer, put the mitts on and carried the trivet around, proudly showing me his ‘pizza’. I never cease to be amazed at the things he comes up with all on his own.

And wow, if you want to know how emotionally fit you are, just try being the primary caregiver of a young child in pain. Some children are easy teethers – Ben is not! Before he was five months old, his first teeth came in. Since then, we’ve had months and months and months of teething. For both for Ben and for those around him, the sleepless nights and misery can last for ages – for example, he’s been working on his two year molars since December and it is now June and they’re still not in! I was happy that I came into this with more emotional fitness and more awareness of my emotional state and how to change it than I used to have. It has also clearly shown me some areas that need improvement!

Aside from the whole teething thing, Ben is a really happy kid. He has and understands his boundaries; he has determination but knows that if he is really struggling, we will help him out; he trusts us implicitly and feels safe with us. He knows that he won’t be told that he can do something today and then be reprimanded for doing it tomorrow. He understands when he makes a mistake that we still love him, and he has shown us the value of repeating things over and over (and over and over) again with patience and understanding.

I’m not a perfect parent, but natural horsemanship has sure helped me be better than I otherwise would have. And really, I think that parenting has helped me to be better with my horses.

POSTED BY CELENA AT 6:09 PM      4 COMMENTS     POST A COMMENT
CATEGORIES: EMOTIONAL FITNESS, HORSEPEOPLE - A BREED OF OUR OWN, LAYING THE FOUNDATION, MY FAMILY, REPETITION

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 7, 2009

Ben Meets Owl

I was out at the barn with my fifteen-month-old son, Ben, a few days ago on a day off. We were going around, playing in the dirt and with the animals. Luckily for me, Ben absolutely loves animals and the outdoors. On my days off, when I still want to go up and visit the ponies, he is always happy to accompany me and get just as dirty as he possibly can. I don’t mind – I’m just happy that he’s happy out there!

My business partner, Anna, was riding one of our horses in for training while Ben and I tottered around. We would go over and watch the horse’s progress for a little while, then go find some animals to play with. I was trying to encourage Ben to play close to the arena so I could see how the horse was going, so I pointed out a plastic owl that lives on a post beside the arena. He seemed interested, so I picked him up to have a better look at it.

Well, I’m not sure if it was the staring yellow eyes or the black beak, but my animal-loving little boy started shaking and crying, scared half to death of this fake bird. I had never seen him have that kind of reaction to anything, and I quickly moved away from the owl and reassured my son.

Once Ben had calmed down, we went back over, this time to the back of the bird where there was no scary face. I scratched the owl’s plastic body, and Ben was intrigued by the noise. I would scratch it, then suggest he scratch it.

Using this technique, we slowly moved around to the front of the owl, making the funny sound on its plastic feathers. If Ben got worried, we’d move away from the face; a few minutes later we would once again make our way towards the fierce face. Within a few minutes, Ben realized that the big staring owl wasn’t a bogeyman.

In the meantime, Anna had ridden over to the fence and was letting the horse ‘soak’ while she watched me and Ben with the owl. She started laughing, and said, “Celena, do you realized that you just desensitized Ben to that owl the way you would desensitize a horse?”

As soon as I became immersed in natural horsemanship, like many others, I recognized that the philosophy was applicable in many areas of my life. But I can’t say that I ever expected to use advance and retreat with my child!

POSTED BY CELENA AT 6:52 PM      0 COMMENTS     POST A COMMENT
CATEGORIES: ANNA, APPLYING NH, HORSEPEOPLE - A BREED OF OUR OWN, MY FAMILY

SUNDAY, JULY 5, 2009

Hotel California (aka The Horse World)

Hi, my name is Celena and I have a horse problem. If I went to therapy, I might get diagnosed with a horse obsession – so I don’t go to therapy. But I can admit it; I’m a horseperson.

In our home, you’ll find as many photographs of my horses as of my family – maybe even more. The wedding photo that is prominently displayed in our dining room is not of me and my wonderfully supportive husband, but of me in my wedding dress astride my big black horse. At my maternity photo shoot – well, okay, there were a few photos of the proud parents to be. But most of the shots are of me, my belly full of bouncing baby boy, and my lovely filly, Glory.

As I said, I have a horse problem.

Our herd keeps growing – and with it, the amount of tack and equipment. Tack and feed stores are danger zones for my wallet. The horse books don’t fit on our bookcase anymore. We have to keep the VCR because some of my favorite natural horsemanship programs are on video tapes. And my son was introduced to his pony before he was born.

I tried to leave the horse world a few times – when I just wasn’t having fun anymore because I realized that my horses weren’t having fun, either. But I kept getting drawn back in, unable to stay away for long, and eventually I found the fun again in natural horsemanship. I finally came to the conclusion that entering the horse world is like the Eagles’ Hotel California – “you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave”!

Sound familiar? I thought so. We are horsepeople – we can’t help it, we’re addicted. We are a breed of our own, an eclectic group of people bound together by a common love of horses that none of us really understands. We don’t really know why we love horses, all we know is that we do and always will. Hopefully you, too, are blessed with indulgent families – goodness only knows it takes a lot of understanding to be saddled with a horseperson!

And no, hunny, we didn’t name our son after a horse. The fact that the name of one of my favorite jumpers of all time was Big Ben is just a coincidence. I just like the name Ben. Really.

POSTED BY CELENA AT 6:02 PM      0 COMMENTS     POST A COMMENT
CATEGORIES: HORSEPEOPLE - A BREED OF OUR OWN, MY FAMILY

WEDNESDAY, JULY 1, 2009

Welcome to Wild Hearts!

"I found my destiny, not in far off places but within myself."
- Sonora, Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken

Watching Wild Hearts Can’t be Broken should be mandatory for horsepeople. Strongly encouraged, anyway. If you are a horse person and you haven’t seen this movie, you have homework! It is a marvelous tale based on a true story that has, of course, been very Disney-ized, but I have seen it dozens of times and it always inspires me. It reminds me to create life from dreams, to do what I feel is right even if it isn’t always easy, and to really, truly love.

My name is Celena. I am the often-delighted, sometimes-exasperated mother of very nearly one-year-old little boy named Ben. I found my soul mate in a tall, dark and handsome man named Curtis, and am his usually-loving, occasionally-infuriated (and, let’s be fair, occasionally-infuriating) wife.

And I am an aspiring horseman.

The discovery and study of natural horsemanship has enriched my life – that is why I am starting this blog. It has not only brought the joy back into horses for me, but it has helped me with my human relationships, too. I believe that natural horsemanship, when applied correctly, is considerate of the horse’s nature and is life changing (and life changing in a good way!) for the people and the horses involved.

I am excited to reflect on natural horsemanship. I have read books and watched DVDs by many different natural horse trainers. These remarkable horsemen – Ray Hunt, Tom Dorrance, Buck Brannaman, Pat Parelli, John Lyons, Clinton Anderson, Sally Swift and Monty Roberts, to name a few – show such empathy and compassion for their horses. They have such feeling and timing – I love how they dance with their horses. I have been as intrigued by the many similarities in their methods as by the differences.

Everyone, regardless of experience or philosophy, is welcome on Wild Hearts. I am looking forward to hearing from the different natural horsemanship facets so we can really delve into the similarities and differences. It will be fascinating to hear about different methods to deal with the same problem.

There’s a lot of controversy around natural horsemanship. Please comment on my posts and on other people’s comments, whether you agree or disagree. I want to hear from you – your insights, your questions, your feedback, and yes, your arguments. All that I ask is that, even if we disagree, that we maintain a supportive and respectful community.

Just a heads-up – my family will work its way into this blog, too. Trying to balance horses and family can be quite the juggling act and makes for some pretty hilarious stories – although some are only funny a few weeks later! Although I will certainly focus on horses, life for me is horses and family; they are inextricably entwined and I have never been able to talk about one without touching on the other.

I’m looking forward to getting to know you!

Wishing you sunny days and sound ponies,
Celena

PS Are you wondering why I call myself an aspiring horseman? I’ll address that subject in another post!

POSTED BY CELENA AT 3:54 PM      0 COMMENTS     POST A COMMENT
CATEGORIES: MY FAMILY, NATURAL HORSEMANSHIP PHILOSOPHIES, WILD HEARTS CAN'T BE BROKEN