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WEDNESDAY, JUNE 2, 2010
Natural Horsemanship as it Relates to Parenting
I was thinking the other day how natural horsemanship really does apply to all areas of my life. It affects how I relate to people and especially how I am with my son.
Because I only have one child, I really don’t know if my observations that relate the way Ben responds to my methods are really accurate – I haven’t exactly had a lot of different case studies! But the way I approach parenting (and urge my husband to do the same) is with consistency, a whole lot of love, a sense of fun and a sense of justice.
Ben is nearly two-years-old and a really interesting little person. The other day, he took a round cork trivet and a pair of oven mitts out of a kitchen drawer, put the mitts on and carried the trivet around, proudly showing me his ‘pizza’. I never cease to be amazed at the things he comes up with all on his own.
And wow, if you want to know how emotionally fit you are, just try being the primary caregiver of a young child in pain. Some children are easy teethers – Ben is not! Before he was five months old, his first teeth came in. Since then, we’ve had months and months and months of teething. For both for Ben and for those around him, the sleepless nights and misery can last for ages – for example, he’s been working on his two year molars since December and it is now June and they’re still not in! I was happy that I came into this with more emotional fitness and more awareness of my emotional state and how to change it than I used to have. It has also clearly shown me some areas that need improvement!
Aside from the whole teething thing, Ben is a really happy kid. He has and understands his boundaries; he has determination but knows that if he is really struggling, we will help him out; he trusts us implicitly and feels safe with us. He knows that he won’t be told that he can do something today and then be reprimanded for doing it tomorrow. He understands when he makes a mistake that we still love him, and he has shown us the value of repeating things over and over (and over and over) again with patience and understanding.
I’m not a perfect parent, but natural horsemanship has sure helped me be better than I otherwise would have. And really, I think that parenting has helped me to be better with my horses.
POSTED BY CELENA AT 6:09 PM POST A COMMENT
CATEGORIES: EMOTIONAL FITNESS, HORSEPEOPLE - A BREED OF OUR OWN, LAYING THE FOUNDATION, MY FAMILY, REPETITION
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4 COMMENTS:
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, 2010 AT 12:16 PM
Dachia says...
I wanted to say that I totally agree with how natural horsemanship has helped in my other non-horse relationships and vice versa. So many of the tools (methods) we use with horses can and should be applied to people... like approach and retreat and several others. Great and fun post.
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 2010 AT 9:15 PM
Celena says...
Thanks for the comment! It is pretty amazing how natural horsemanship starts affecting all relationships. It has definitely made me a better person. If you feel like sharing your stories about natural horsemanship applied to life, I'd love to hear them on the forums!
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 2011 AT 5:06 PM
Bonnie says...
I'd say you are an excellent parent as well as horsewoman, Celena. Ben is a lucky young man to have parents like you and your husband. I taught school for 30 years, and SO many young people have to deal with such inconsistencies that it's amazing they can come through them with any semblence of being a well-adjusted, responsible adult.
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2011 AT 9:12 PM
Celena says...
Thanks Bonnie! Parenthood is certainly an interesting road to go down, but I am infinitely grateful that I got involved in natural horsemanship well before we had Ben. Consistency is one of those things that is vital to master for any relationship to work well, and horses sure push you to make that switch!
People, and horses really, are so resilient! It never ceases to amaze me. Kids can live in terrible situations, horses can have such traumatic events happen - and yet they can still come out the other side and thrive. Teaching must have been a hard but rewarding job!